OVERFLOW / OPEN

[rekd]

TFLN / OPEN RP / THREADTRACKER

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[rekd]

[ at least the birds are eating. they have to deal with the violent way reki is pitching these torn off scraps, but they seem happy enough that he's keeping them coming. it's something to do instead of looking at qi fang and having to admit he's angry over nothing. ]

I just don't fucking get it. You're obviously suffocating. Why are you pretending everything's okay when it's not? I know I've been selfish. I'm so fucking tired of everything being about me. But you don't say anything, so what the fuck am I supposed to do? Just wait until you hate me?

[ reki pitches the last of his burger at a crow so he can clutch his head. ]

You already fucking hate me, don't you.

[tongxue]

[ qi fang is listening, he swears he is, but there's just so much coming out of reki's mouth right now that feels just so out of left field that he's half convinced he's hallucinating parts of it. by the end of reki's rant, he's got his head in his hands and an avid audience of birds and all qi fang can do is stare and wonder where the fuck this is all coming from. ]

What... the hell are you even saying?

[ he sits up, exasperated. ]

Did something happen? In that shopping cart? Because as far as I knew, we were doing okay. Like — I'm happy. [ maybe not... at this very moment, but. ] I thought you were too. But you seem pretty fucking convinced there's a problem here, so maybe you're seeing something I'm not. But I can tell you this — it sure as hell isn't coming from my end.

[ he sits back again, crossing his arms over his chest. without the jacket, the air feels just a little bit chillier. ]

You think I'm just some chump who goes around doing whatever anyone tells him to do? [ he has to laugh, dry. ] I'm not a nice guy, Reki. Not by default. I wouldn't do any of this shit with you if I didn't want to.

[rekd]

Oh, so this is all me. I'm fucking crazy. Just stop.

[ he says, as much to himself as qi fang. it'd be good to breathe and be quiet for a second. things are jumbling and getting confusing in his head. but his heart is racing far too quickly for him to settle down. ]

I'm not imagining things. It doesn't sound like you're happy with how shit is when you're saying we should spend less time together...

[ that's not what he said. ]

I mean, that's not what you said, but I'm not stupid, I know what you meant. I'm too fucking clingy, right? You can just say that.

[tongxue]

Why would I say something I don't believe!

[ he'd been speaking pretty calmly up until now, but apparently he's reached his breaking point. though he still just sounds exasperated, outburst tinged with a wild laugh around the edges even as he throws his hands up and startles their new bird companions. ]

I teased you about breaking out of a hospital, I never fucking said we were spending too much time together. Why do you keep trying to find something wrong? Are you sure you're not the one who hates me??

[rekd]

[ reki can't help but let his eyes follow the path of that crow taking flight, which is what finally does it. that weird grossness converts into a twisting nausea. the rest of what qi fang says is blown out by an incessant ringing. reki's face goes pale as his skin starts crawling, signaling that he has to get away, now. ]

Whatever, dude, [ he slurs, slowly climbing to his feet. it's the worst idea, but he's not going to accept that he can't stand right now. not after everything. stubbornly, he takes a wavering step away. ] Just go. Wanna be alone.

[tongxue]

[ cool, so he isn't even gonna listen to him anymore. that's what finally tips qi fang over into frustration, bordering on anger, but he hastens to bite that bit back as much as he can.

still, there's a low growl to his tone when he reaches out and snatches reki by the wrist, grip firm. ]

Oh no you don't. You're supposed to be supervised tonight, remember? If you don't wanna be around me, fine, whatever. But I'm not letting you be alone.

[rekd]

[ oh no. no no no no no. reki can feel time slipping away from him and he's dedicating all his strength to staying upright; he's got nothing left to slip qi fang's grasp. ]

Let me go.

[tongxue]

[ he's standing now too, walking around so he can actually face reki. something's telling him it's not a good idea, and yet he reaches out anyway, cupping his free hand over reki's cheek and swiping his thumb over the skin there in what he hopes is a soothing gesture. reki usually likes it when they touch, right? ]

Babe, what's going on? Do you really want me to leave?

[rekd]

[ it's the worst idea anyone has ever had. reki can't even help staring at him in shock for a moment, completely at a loss for what to do. but time's up; his mouth is filling, he's panting, and though he knows qi fang is near by the hand on his sweat-soaked face, he keeps looking farther and farther away.

as hard as he can, he shoves him back—which, really, only sends him stumbling backwards. but that's fine considering the options he has, as long as he's away enough when he starts retching out the contents of his stomach—which is mostly just that coke, thankfully. thankfully, the abject embarrassment of all of this doesn't last for long because he can't even stay conscious the whole time, his vision blacking as he chokes and shudders and finally goes limp.

it's only for a second, fortunately or not, but he's too dazed in the aftermath to do much of anything. ]

[tongxue]

[ ...welp. at least now they know he's definitely got a concussion.

qi fang doesn't make any move towards reki, since the last time he decided to get close is what got them into this current (and literal) mess. not yet, anyway. he just slowly crouches down, keeping on eye on the other's face in case those eyes roll back or something. ]

...Reki?

[rekd]

[ it's fine now. he's fine. he'll just lay on the deck of this mcdonald's for the rest of his life and aside from the deep-fried stench that's turning his empty stomach upside-down, it won't be so bad. ]

Hey...

[ he manages to lift a hand enough for it to go sprawling right back against the concrete. so, that's not the move then. he smiles instead. ]

You hang around this sidewalk often, cutie?

[tongxue]

[ a pause, and then a sigh. and then he's toppling backwards to land on his ass so he can hang his head between his knees and just. breathe a bit.

except the stench of deep-fried food and vomit isn't exactly a good mix or at all stabilizing — but at least he doesn't gag himself. ]

Next time you need to throw up just tell me instead of picking a fight with me.

[rekd]

[ oh. right. they were fighting. except reki can't really remember why and it seems stupid to ask when he was the one who started it, especially now that he's nowhere near as angry or hurt as he felt like he was before.

he sighs too, slowly shoving himself up. ]

I'm... so sorry.

[tongxue]

[ qi fang lifts his head when he hears reki start to move, resting his cheek now on an open palm. ]

Yeah, you better be, punk. You scared the shit outta me.

[ maybe they should Talk. all that stuff reki said... that couldn't have come out of nowhere, right?

but qi fang's something of a coward when it comes to these things, so he just stays silent, despite his gut. ]

[rekd]

Sorry for that too, [ he murmurs. he has to sit around and hang his head for a second for more reasons than just the awful throbbing it's doing right now, but that's some crybaby shit. as soon as he knows he's not going to faint like a wilting daisy again, he lifts it back up.

obviously, they do need to Talk, but it's rough to figure out where to start when he can't even remember what he said or qi fang said, what was real or what was in his head. it's still all fucked up. and anyway, this is maybe not the place to do it. ]

Do you wanna go home? I get it, if you don't wanna stick around, but...

[tongxue]

[ instead of answering right away, qi fang glances over at the bench. their trays have pretty much been taken over by the birds, his ten-piece made very quickly into dozens-of-smaller-pieces. somehow it just feels right he still hasn't gotten his mcnuggets out of this deal.

then he looks back at reki, suddenly tired. ]

I'll walk you home, at least.

[ whether or not he stays... he isn't sure. things still feel a little weird.

but he's back on his feet soon enough, dusting off his pants and hands before reaching out to help reki up. ]

[rekd]

[ between that look and the way qi fang takes his hand, reki's heart is sinking straight into his stomach. he knows he's fucked up, but he's done that enough to know there's a spectrum—and he's on the outrageous end of it now.

as soon as he's on his feet, he shoves his hands into his pockets, thinking. ]

I'm good. Y'know, if you wanna skip the walk. I'll be okay on my own for a minute.

[tongxue]

[ qi fang levels an even look at reki, his smile not quite reaching his eyes. ]

Maybe, but I'm walking you home anyway.

[ he'd meant what he said before, even if reki can't remember it now. reki is still technically hurt; no way in hell is qi fang gonna leave him alone for a second, just because things are weird.

he starts on the path first, but makes it a point to wait for reki to catch up. ]

[rekd]

[ reki has to avert his eyes. that smile never does anything but make him anxious. of course, glancing back at the birds feasting on their lunch isn't much better; it's like a big neon sign shouting, "look at what you fucking ruined today." ]

Sure, yeah. Thanks.

[ he catches up easily enough, but can't help but hang back a bit as they walk. it seems only right to go quiet and think about what he did, even if the pieces aren't all fitting together in a way that makes sense. ]

[tongxue]

[ the walk is, of course, very silent. neither of them bother to speak, both not knowing what to say but for different reasons. qi fang himself feels unwilling to put up his usual cheery persona, quietly withdrawing into himself as his steps work on autopilot to take them back to a home he's been visitor to more often than not lately. the walk itself feels too short. seemingly no sooner had he begun to sink into the dull roar of his mind were they coming up onto a familiar walk way. his steps slow, feet dragging. he thought he'd know what he'd want to do by the time they got there, but he's still no closer to figuring it out than when they'd started.

he ends up stopping right at the driveway, turning to face reki there instead of at the door, where the risk of being welcomed in is too high. even from where they stand, he can hear the usual chaos of the kyan household echoing from within. ]

Let's pick this up later, hm? You had a long day so you should take it easy.

[rekd]

[ it's both the longest and shortest walk of his life. certainly puts into perspective, too, how selfish he is, how badly he longs the entire time to close the distance and beg for qi fang to touch him again. but this is uncharted territory and he's got no idea where to begin with it, especially not with a fuzzy brain and a very loose grasp on the issue that caused this.

he still hasn't figured anything out by the time they stop either. sooner than he thought they would, which makes sense as much as it winds him, like that last couple of feet would be enough to scare the anxiety of parting away. (that was part of it, right? or something that he convinced himself was part of it. see, this is the problem.) ]

Yeah...

[ and that's that. right? now he just has to watch qi fang walk away. except that he can't really bring himself to do that yet, reaching out to grab his arm, his head dipping guiltily. ]

Please don't give up on me yet.

[tongxue]

[ truthfully, qi fang's plan was to send reki off, not leave until he was sure the other boy was safely back in his him. so he hadn't even moved when that hand reaches out, curling around his arm. he eyes reki for the moment, or rather, eyes the top of his head. ]

That wasn't even a thought, man.

[ he tips his head curiously. ]

But shouldn't I be the one saying that to you?

[ qi fang doesn't know, of course. he doesn't even realize that reki doesn't remember anything from their fight, if you can even consider it one. it's why he sounds a little confused, a little tired. were he stronger, he might have had the energy to rehash it all.

instead he just presses a light kiss to the corner of reki's mouth, a quiet promise this isn't the end. even if it feels that way at the time. ]

Get some rest. Text me when you're feeling better, okay?

[rekd]

[ that... doesn't gel with anything that he can recall. he knows they fought, he knows he started it, and he thought he knew the outcome, but qi fang's question throws all the fundamentals out the window. now the only real thing he knows for sure is that he and qi fang have two totally different perceptions of what happened, and the only thing that can mean is that he's going crazy.

again. ]

.... Oh.

[ his voice is lighter, airier, made smaller by the fear that's blooming in his chest. if there was ever a reason to give up on somebody, this sure is a good one. how can you even trust someone who is so removed from reality?

instead he gets a kiss and reassurance when it really oughtta be the other way around. he takes a deep breath. ]

I need to tell you something. But I can text it, I mean. You probably wanna get home.

[tongxue]

[ he should stay, hear reki out. but by now he can't even pretend this want for space is all about reki's well-being. ]

It's... been kind of a day. Let's talk after we both get some rest, okay?

[ he feels a weird mixture of exhaustion and restlessness, but something tells him he won't be able to do anything about it sticking around. he wants to know what reki has to say, but at the same time he doesn't have the energy to hear it, let alone listen. ]

[rekd]

Yeah. You take care of yourself too, okay?

[ there's still the harrowing feeling that letting qi fang go means something bigger than not seeing him for a little while, but. that's another one of those things for later. he takes a moment to flash the biggest smile he can manage as he takes a step back, toward the grinning shisa guarding the lawn. ]