rekd | OVERFLOW / OPEN

[ reki still can't quite bring himself to meet qi fang's eyes, even after all this time spent in miserable contemplation. there's just too much up in the air still that he can't really sort out in his head, and it feels wrong to exchange glances when he isn't really certain where they stand. ]

... Better, I think.

[ he does steal a quick glance as he tucks away the compress. not that it was doing anything to begin with but keeping his friend off his case. ]

You?

[ qi fang notices the avoidance, but he says nothing about it. reki tends to do that when he's feeling particularly guilty or scared, so qi fang just turns his attention to his feet, legs stretched out so he can scuff at the ground with his heel. he takes a quick stock of himself and surmises, ]

Pretty fucking shitty, actually.

[ but that's also due in part to the fact he's pretty sure all this sluggishness he's feeling is likely the advent of a cold or fever. great. ]

But mostly just confused.

[ considering how these talks usually go (ie: not at all), the bluntness surprises him. he does look up, but by then, qi fang is looking away, and there's only so long he can manage that before he feels compelled to drop his gaze too. ]

What's going on? You seem off but...

[ well. yeah. considering the circumstances, who wouldn't? ]

I mean, besides the confusion. I'm confused too. But that—we can fix that, right?

[ qi fang makes a face, scrubbing at his eyes again. ]

Nothing, it's nothing.

[ he clears his throat, which is starting to feel sore. ]

Anyway, yeah, I hope so.

[ wait. his mind churns reki's words slowly, so it's only now something stands out to him. ]

Hang on... What do you mean you're confused?

[ very quickly, the expression on reki's face is transforming from a quiet despair to pure concern. qi fang's voice sounds rough, but not in the good way, and his fingers itch to reach out.

but it suddenly doesn't feel like his place. ]

Let's walk? I'll explain.

[ at least if they wander home, he can whip up some tea or something. ]

[ truthfully, walking feels like the last thing he wants to do after making the trip to the park and finally sitting back down. but at this point he's so eager to know what the hell went on that he'd agree to just about anything.

so he stands with an idle nod, stuffing his hands back into his pockets. ]

Lead the way.

[ before he gathers up the rest of his things, he hands that last water bottle over to qi fang. today's been a lot of walking around while feeling like absolute shit, so he can certainly relate. then, he slings his backpack over his shoulder and leads them toward the road home.

he's been thinking about how to say this all night, but now his mind is blank as a brand new canvas. it takes him awhile to come up with: ]

I've been trying to figure out what happened on my own, but...

[ he shoves his hands into his pockets too, mortified. ]

I dunno, man. I looked back at that text that set me off and it doesn't mean the same thing anymore. I can't remember who said what. Everything is muddy.

[ he takes the bottle and downs half of it in one go without even thinking, body working on autopilot as he focuses everything instead on the conversation at hand. ]

Text..?

[ maybe it's not such a good idea to have this talk when qi fang himself is feeling like shit, but he feels like he has a good enough handle of the situation to know that none of what reki's saying makes sense. ]

What're you talking about? You don't remember what happened at the McDonald's?

I remember that, [ he maintains, glancing at qi fang with a new kind of fear twisting in his gaze. it was the one thing he had that he was certain of, but the way qi fang is asking, maybe that's not real, either.

his stomach twists. ]

I remember we fought, it just... No, I guess I don't.

[ qi fang, too, feels his grip on reality is starting to slip, so he dors what he almost never allows himself to do and just: talks. keeps talking, without thinking, spilling it all out like he's reliving the experience right in front of their eyes. ]

You asked for a favor and I made a stupid joke about busting you out of the hospital. Then you got mad at me cuz you were convinced I hated you or, or that I was feeling suffocated because you thought you were too clingy or something. I kept trying to talk to you but you weren't listening and wanted to be alone and then you fucking threw up and I guess it gave you amnesia!

[ it takes some skill to be able to say all that to the tune of what the actual fuck. ]

[ reki's face starts to burn. hearing it like this is so much worse than he ever could have imagined. ]

I remember, just... not like that.

[ is it even worth it to argue the details at this point? he doesn't really have the emotional stamina for it. with a shaky sigh, he adds, ] I'm sure you're right, though. I'm sorry.

[ qi fang waves the water bottle in the air, dismissing reki's apology. if he doesn't even remember it like that, what's the point of it? ]

No no, tell me what you remember because it doesn't make any fucking sense to me. What did you hear that I didn't?

I told you. It started with the text and... the hospital.

[ even these details are muddy. it's still difficult to reconcile what he knows with what he felt happened. ]

I know I was wrong. I know I got upset over nothing. I just didn't realize that none of it was real.

[ qi fang looks at reki as if to say since then? ]

You were so happy when I showed up. I mean, I thought you were...

[ he pauses, then raises the bottle to roll it over his forehead, feeling hot. ]

I don't get it, man. What happened?

I don't know.

[ he's trying to keep his voice as level as he can considering all that has transpired, but this is genuinely upsetting.

almost as much as the realization that he's in a full jacket and hoodie, while qi fang is passing a bottle over his head like he's dying in the heat. there's no helping it now; he lifts his wrist to press to qi fang's cheek. ]

You're burning up.

[ he flinches at the touch, but only because he hadn't been expecting it. he makes no other move to steer away from reki, even as he feels frustration start to mingle with his confusion. absolutely nothing they've said has helped to mitigate it at all, and now he's pissy they got up for this when he could've been sitting down. ]

It's fine, I'll take something when I get home.

[ he wants — no, needs — to just focus on one thing right now. ]

So — what? You don't actually think any of that?

[ either way, the flinch stings. everything feels so unsalvageable. but reki can't trust that either, or anything else besides. ]

I was scared, [ he says softly, dropping his hand so they can continue on down the road. ]

I mean, it's stuff I worry about sometimes, but I had no right to take it out on you like that. I'm not...

[ oh man, there's something he hadn't even considered yet. ]

Am I always like that?

[ hearing reki admit to his fear sombers qi fang up some, though in all honesty it's not like he'd been jonesing for another fight anyway. he sighs, heavy and full of breath, the water bottle crinkling noisily in his grip. ]

What, scared? [ his words come out dull no, feeling ashamed he'd even raised his voice in the first place. the absence of reki's touch feels so unbelievably vast. ] I don't know, I hope not.

[ they turn the corner and reki isn't prepared for how awful it feels to walk down this road again, like ripping into a fresh wound. at least they're talking this time.

he shakes his head. ]

Crazy.

[ muddy as the details are, he's pretty sure he knows exactly how he looked back on that deck. ]

Have I always been like this?

No.

[ that much qi fang knows for sure, can say with utmost certainty. ]

You were stressed and scared and, oh, also had a fucking concussion so, no. None of that was normal you.

[ it occurs to him, belatedly, where they're actually going, and he's a little surprised to feel relief wash over him at the idea of stepping back into a familiar chaos. he already feels a little less tense recalling the easy comfort reki's home provides. ]

[ he pauses again in the same place, at the border of the lawn. while hearing qi fang say as much is a reassurance, it's not like it absolves him of anything. ]

I'm so sorry.

[ he takes a step nearer, but he recognizes that the distance isn't his to close. and that's fine; his foremost concern right now is getting qi fang into that house. ]

Please come home with me. We can keep talking. I'll tell you anything.

[ he hears reki's apology, but again he's not sure what to do with it. it all just feels so off and disjointed, and things still feel raw and unresolved but at this point he's not even sure what they can do to fix anything. on top of it all, his body feels like it weighs a ton and he just wants to lay back down.

he sighs and shuffles his hands out of his pockets, opening his arms. ]

C'mon, let's hug it out or your mom's gonna smell something wrong and ask us about it.

[ nothing feels better than a sigh preceding an offer of an embrace. reki slides in, his arms wind around qi fang, but he's too tense to move much more than that and it's not the same.

anyway, being this close alerts him to how warm qi fang truly is. who cares about a hug when he's obviously suffering? they've already lingered out here far too long. ]

Let's go. I'll set you up with some tea.

[ but qi fang doesn't let reki go, not yet. holding him now, he realizes just how worried he had been over everything. letting go seems like the last thing he wants to do. ]

I missed you.

[ sure, he was asleep for the most part but — just those few minutes of the two of them fighting, being silent... it was enough.

also he may or may not be leaning a bit too heavily on reki, oops. ]

[ reki made it through all of this without shedding a single tear, and he's not about to falter now. it's rough when his eyes are softening and his hands are grasping to account for the extra weight leaning on him, but he's not going to walk into that house with that kind of target on him. ]

No honey. It'd help your throat, but I won't put it in.

[ it's not that much of a burden; he can keep an arm around qi fang and walk them to the door fine enough. ]

We'll score you some miso too. Okay?

TFLN / OPEN RP / THREADTRACKER

Neverrrr 🤩 twinsies

baby come back

U come back!! 😭😭😭

orite 🏃💨

🧱🏃🧱 mwaha got u now

😳 oh

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