[ it's fortunate that nisaka happens to follow reki's skittish line of sight, because if he wasn't 1000% convinced the redhead was really considering ramming himself into that brick wall, then he wouldn't be doing what he's just about to do. ]
Just so you know I am absolutely channeling all of my anger into this.
[ grabbing up reki's arm, trying to toe that line between gentle and firm... despite his frustration, he really is kind of worried he'll fuck this up. but if there's ever been a time to try and be as strong as he physically can be, why not now? squeezing his eyes shut, he takes in a sharp breath which is really all the warning reki gets before he shoves, like that shoulder's insulted his own mother or something. ]
You can be angry at me all you want when I've got two arms to defend myself with.
[ meanwhile, reki is just having the best time. that sharp breath is a perfect cue: he moves into the shove, feels that blessed pop, and sighs in relief. after a second of flexing his fingers: ]
Stop. [ nisaka sighs again, feeling all that strength he'd mustered up just earlier leave him. he's not sure if he's just tired suddenly, but he can't fathom any of what reki is saying. ] Why are you acting like this isn't a big deal? People don't just get hit by cars every day.
[ watching nisaka deflate like this is awful. a total dagger to the heart, twisting and twisting with no sign of relenting anytime soon. reki steps a little closer, sliding his arms around nisaka's shoulders. ]
I'm sorry. I didn't realize this was such a big deal to you.
[ he's not used to this. people straight up die at S—what kind of wuss is going to complain about a little bump from a car? but that's not nisaka's world—he gets it. ]
[ it's not an uncommon feeling, like he's some outsider looking in. maybe nisaka had grown foolish, all that time spent at school having lunches, spending breaks with reki. during those times, reki had just felt like another teenage boy, just like him. sure, he had his skateboarding, but everyone's got their hobbies, their passion. but it's times like these that nisaka realizes just how different their worlds are, how far away reki actually is. he doesn't know the full extent of what reki goes through in S... and now he's wondering if he even should. if he's this much of a wreck after something reki himself doesn't even bat an eye at, what makes him think he can handle reki's world?
selfishly, he sinks into the arms that encircle him. he feels stupid; reki was the one in an accident just now, and yet he's the one being comforted here? burying his face into the other boy's shoulders, he doesn't care if his words come out too muffled to be heard. ]
[ no, it's good. he needs this too, nisaka's comforting weight against him after his boat was completely rocked by this revelation. oh man, it opens up a big ass can of worms but—those can be dealt with in their own time. he's just glad that they're together, that he can feel every breath nisaka takes and match it with his own. ]
[ despite his words, there's no malice, no heat. just exhaustion. it'd taken him a long time to get to this place — to be able to let himself express these emotions, to think he could deserve having such affection in return — so he's not nearly so willing to let it go if he doesn't have to. at least on his stronger days.
he reaches up a hand, curling it into a fist in reki's hoodie. maybe it was meant to be threatening, but really he just comes off as clinging. ]
Next time you go out like this again, tell me beforehand, okay?
[ reki reaches out too, slipping a palm against nisaka's cheek. it's an easy promise to make. the other stuff weighing on his mind—not nearly such a breeze.
but right now it doesn't matter. really the only guarantee that either of them have is this moment. and sure, it's gotten off to a way rockier start than he would have liked, but nisaka is still here. there's still a chance to make it better. ]
It's boring without you, anyway. Next time, we'll go together.
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Just so you know I am absolutely channeling all of my anger into this.
[ grabbing up reki's arm, trying to toe that line between gentle and firm... despite his frustration, he really is kind of worried he'll fuck this up. but if there's ever been a time to try and be as strong as he physically can be, why not now? squeezing his eyes shut, he takes in a sharp breath which is really all the warning reki gets before he shoves, like that shoulder's insulted his own mother or something. ]
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[ meanwhile, reki is just having the best time. that sharp breath is a perfect cue: he moves into the shove, feels that blessed pop, and sighs in relief. after a second of flexing his fingers: ]
You're the G.O.A.T. I owe you one.
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You were hit by a car, [ is all nisaka says, carefully. he feels a little delirious having to remind the other boy of his own accident here. ]
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Hit is a strong word. More like it rolled me.
[ which is... the same thing. but reki gives him a plaintive look to cover for the lack of difference. ]
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I'm sorry. I didn't realize this was such a big deal to you.
[ he's not used to this. people straight up die at S—what kind of wuss is going to complain about a little bump from a car? but that's not nisaka's world—he gets it. ]
That was stupid.
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selfishly, he sinks into the arms that encircle him. he feels stupid; reki was the one in an accident just now, and yet he's the one being comforted here? burying his face into the other boy's shoulders, he doesn't care if his words come out too muffled to be heard. ]
It matters if you get hurt, okay? It matters.
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[ no, it's good. he needs this too, nisaka's comforting weight against him after his boat was completely rocked by this revelation. oh man, it opens up a big ass can of worms but—those can be dealt with in their own time. he's just glad that they're together, that he can feel every breath nisaka takes and match it with his own. ]
I'm really glad you're here. Thank you.
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[ despite his words, there's no malice, no heat. just exhaustion. it'd taken him a long time to get to this place — to be able to let himself express these emotions, to think he could deserve having such affection in return — so he's not nearly so willing to let it go if he doesn't have to. at least on his stronger days.
he reaches up a hand, curling it into a fist in reki's hoodie. maybe it was meant to be threatening, but really he just comes off as clinging. ]
Next time you go out like this again, tell me beforehand, okay?
no subject
[ reki reaches out too, slipping a palm against nisaka's cheek. it's an easy promise to make. the other stuff weighing on his mind—not nearly such a breeze.
but right now it doesn't matter. really the only guarantee that either of them have is this moment. and sure, it's gotten off to a way rockier start than he would have liked, but nisaka is still here. there's still a chance to make it better. ]
It's boring without you, anyway. Next time, we'll go together.